Random Rants #6

Semester 4 is almost coming to an end and I'm all drained out. I am so tired with life, I am so exhausted with everything right now. Sometimes, I just need a break, but life's like suffocating me with so much drama. Friends, relationships, family, education, everything is just a blur now. It's like I'm in a coma, and everything's happening around me, and I realize it, but I'm too frozen to do anything. It's better to be alone you know, where the only person you can actually ever disappoint is yourself. Nobody else, but yourself. When you're down in the dumps, you gotta pick yourself up and when you're high up in the sky, there's no one else that can be happier but yourself. Isn't that much easier? Why can't I ever be alone? I don't mind being alone but it's as though people need me to be there for them. Funny thing is, who's there when I need them? Isn't that hilarious? How people only come find you, if they're stuck in a rut, or in need of advice, but you can't do the same because you're afraid of annoying them? So, you just sit in a corner, heart breaking into a million pieces, too numb to cry, where you just sit there and stare blankly at nothing. Weird thing is, I don't want anyone to comfort me, I don't want anyone to be there for me. I just want to be alone. I just need to be alone. I need to understand all the confusion that is running in my head, but is it too much for someone to ask, perhaps once in a while, "are you okay?" It's not as though I'm gonna tell you anything, but it's nice to know someone bothers. However, those who ask it, are just curious, not because they care. Like I said, I don't know anymore. I'm slowly losing interest in things I used to have a burning passion for. I'm lost. I'm lost inside of myself.